My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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