I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
