I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
