I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
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