Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
