Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I didn't notice because vodka
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
