I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
ok first of all what the fuck
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize