the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
