Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize