Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
