im drinking this country out of the recession.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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