i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize