This is not my ceiling
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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