Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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