Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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