Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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