They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
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It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
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I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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