You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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