I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
