Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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