I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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