it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
