Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
