We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
