i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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