do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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