Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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