Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
