I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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