yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize