Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
