I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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