i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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