So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize