She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
