i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
