He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
