someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
