About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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