How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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