I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize