Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
