Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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