You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize