haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
