You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
