If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
