I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
