WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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