Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
where are my eyebrows?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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