Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
