the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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