he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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