Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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